This girl was asked how much she loved being a mom. Her answer may shock you!

I love this.
I hate it when people pretend like everything is so easy and perfect when they know it isn’t.
I have a feeling that I will be the exact same way as this new mom.

Mandatory sobriety

Oh, hi.

I was gone for a minute, but that’s because I was busy having–and subsequently, trying not to kill–a baby.

This adorable, healthy little fart factory was born six days late at 7:30pm on November 27th by emergency c-section.

Introducing Liam Colin This fart factory is also named Liam.

It’s been three weeks since Chunker (as I like to damagingly call him) was untimely ripped from my womb, and I am just now finding the time to write about it. I’ve started–and then abruptly stopped–this entry so many times, mostly due to the following:

  • abject laziness
  • savage abdominal pain due to major surgery
  • a once-every-three-hour feeding schedule
  • bloodcurdling infant screams
  • fecal explosions
  • painful nipples
  • leaking nipples
  • urine trickling out of the back of a diaper and onto my lap
  • sour milk spit-ups
  • not showering
  • taking a moment to neglect my two cats
  • tears (mine)
  • shovelling food into my mouth whilst hovering over the sink
  • resisting the urge to throat punch every person who insists that breastfeeding is…

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